OLD POST ALERT! This is an older post and although you might find some useful tips, any technical or publishing information is likely to be out of date. Please click on Start Here on the menu bar above to find links to my most useful articles, videos and podcast. Thanks and happy writing! β Joanna Penn
However many books on writing we read, and however many novels we have consumed in our genre, there are still things that we get wrong as new novelists.
I know I fall into these traps. I also reviewed a friend's manuscript the other day and found myself telling him exactly the same things. So I thought you might like to add your thoughts as well since we can all learn from each other. Please do leave a comment below with your top mistakes of new fiction writers.
This is not an exhaustive list, but just some obvious things that, if fixed, may transform your manuscript. Aspects may also vary by genre.
(1) Show, don't tell.
Now I know why editors and publishers say this over and over again. It really stands out in a manuscript when you read with a fresh eye. If the Nazis are marching into a French village, don't report the event in third person. Instead, relate the event from the point of view of a character in the crowd. Make it personal and show their reaction to the event by their behavior. Deep, interior monologues can be replaced with characters doing something or saying something.
(2) Consistent Point of View (POV)
I don't think I really ‘got' point of view until I paid for my first professional edit. I jumped into the heads of the different characters within one scene which can be confusing for readers. Yes, some writers do it but it's best to get POV sorted before you start playing around.
POV is also easier if you think in terms of writing scenes. Each scene has a setting, something happens to advance the plot or reveal character, and there is a point of view. Who is telling the story? Then be consistent within the scene, or if you change heads, then only do it once. There's no exact science to this, but there are some conventions that make it easier for the reader.
For more on story engineering, check out Larry Brook's fantastic tips in this interview.
(3) Deliver on the promise you make the reader.
If there is a murder at the beginning, then we need to know who did it by the end. No matter if it is a massive 7 part series. The story arc in the one book needs to be complete. This is one of the reasons I personally don't like serial books. I like my story to be encompassed in one book. I want the payoff of a good ending.
There needs to be coherence around theme, character arc, plot as well as delivering to the promise of the genre you advertise the book as. I'm writing action-adventure thriller, so I can't spend half the book in one room pondering the world as a literary fiction author could. If you're writing romance, there needs to be a happy ending. (Although apparently, a love story can have an unhappy ending in the vein of Nicholas Sparks!)
(4) Overuse of first names in dialogue
This jumps off the page as the sign of an amateur, and I am absolutely guilty as charged in my first novel. Read your dialogue out loud – with another person. Someone has commented on the blog before about reading it aloud to a recorder and then playing it back again. This is all time-consuming though. I notice this in a lot of indie books.
(5) Overuse of exclamation marks
Yes, this can be fixed by a proof-reader/ copy-editor, but sometimes the text needs to be rewritten as well as the excess punctuation removed. It's trying too hard to communicate emotion to the reader, without showing it in the action or behavior of the character.
Tips on usage from The Perfect Write.
βSome experts feel that exclamation points are the sign of a lazy writer, or worseβan amateur. Whether the rationale for either opinion is sound or not, there are well-grounded reasons for both.β
Conclusion: we can all improve.
One of the marvelous things about being a writer is how we can keep improving. Every word we write can be a step towards improvement. The editing process is all about improvement, about making the book the best it can be. Get people reading your work and critiquing it. We have to keep learning and this is the only way.
Ruth Heald says
I agree. I’ve seen a lot of the mistakes mentioned in my first drafts and the work of other first time authors. I think another one is “writing into the scene.” i.e. Writing extra description and background details about the characters before you really start the action of the scene. Essentially you end up with information that is just for the author and not for the reader.
On the other hand, I think it’s important to let the writing flow in a first draft, ignore your internal editor and let yourself make mistakes. This works for me, as it means I actually write, instead of procrastinating. The work always requires a very heavy edit, but if you spend too much time worrying about the details you can end up not writing anything at all!
Sean Byerley says
I noticed one or two on your list that might apply to me.
1. Point of view. Right now, in the fiction novel I am currently writing, I just have the narrator narrating. It is not any particular person from the book. It’s more like me talking to the reader. You mentioned that you don’t think it’s good to narrate in the third person, but I find that I do some of my best writing in narration. I had thought of making the narrator a character, but I have not yet. Should I?
2. Overuse of first names in dialogue. I do find myself doing this, and I noticed it as I have been doing it, but how do you make it clear to the reader who is speaking if you don’t “overuse” names? Sometimes saying “he said this” and “she said that” don’t cut it.
Joanna Penn says
Hi Sean,
(1) I’m a reader and an author – not an editor π so I don’t have any advice on this really. I do recommend engaging a pro editor so check out the list here if you want some help:
http://www.thecreativepenn.com/editors/
You might find it helps to find books that you admire that are similar in genre and see how they do it.
(2) You have to show it with the scene e.g. use action rather than attaching to speech – but I meant using the other character’s name too much – this is just playing with it and studying how others do it, I think. All the best.
Sean Byerley says
Thanks, Joanna. In case you’re interested in reading what might be my most interesting book to date. It’s going to be titled, The Mystery of the Toshire University Murders and will be available in both paperback and ebook editions, starting with a createspace (Amazon) paperback and the e-book, for the first three months, will exclusively be available as a kindle direct download. Do me a favor and tell your friends. I think one of my problems is that more people need to know I’m there.
You can also follow me on Twitter at @seanpbyerley
Thank you.
Belinda Pollard says
As a long-time pro non-fiction writer currently blundering her way through her first novel (it is a very different skill set, trust me), I’d add one more… believing everyone else, instead of yourself! π
When I very first started my novel, like, waaay back, almost before electricity, I started with a prologue about a death that is the cause of everything that happens in the novel. Then I read all the stuff saying prologues are terrible, never have a prologue, only amateurs have prologues, and I changed it and started the book quite differently (now up to Version 296 of the opening, or thereabouts!)
I am very near final completion now, and recently had a professional manuscript consultation with a woman who advises award winning writers (I won the consultation in a comp, what a bonus huh?). I asked my consultant if the opening scene had the grab an opening scene needs. She said it wasn’t a bad opening scene, but probably not the right opening scene for this book, and in fact what I most likely needed was a prologue about the death that started it all!!! π
So I think we need to study the fiction-writing craft diligently, listen carefully and analytically to all the viewpoints we get from our beta readers, but then have the courage to write the book that we really want to write, and be ready to trust our instincts. I’ll let you know if I manage to do this or not. π B
Joanna Penn says
I heard all that advice about prologues too but all the thrillers I read use prologues to do exactly what you’re saying. Modelling the success of other books is probably the best advice.
Here’s a post on prologues I wrote back in 2010 when I was confused
http://www.thecreativepenn.com/2010/04/16/prologues-how-and-when-to-use-them/
I have used them in both books and will continue to use them π
Belinda Pollard says
I agree, Jo. A prologue done well can really set up a book, and yours did with the fate of the poor nun. Very creepy. Molly Greene’s new book starts with a prologue too (different genre) and I think she’s done a good job of it.
I just need the courage to go for it, if it works, I think. Gotta break out of People-Pleasing Paranoia Land. My prologue is currently back in, and is not called “prologue”, it’s just the first scene of Chapter 1. But who knows what next week may bring??? π I’ve even toyed with telling it as a news report.
Sigh. Better forget the prologue for now and go and start wrestling the POV alligator again……… (I am awash with problems in the death throes of this novel-writing caper — I am all admiration that you are actually on No. 3)
Jennifer Jensen (@jenjensen2) says
Great list, and so many more to choose from! I would add putting a dialogue tag, even if it’s a generic “said,” after each line of dialogue. We need to write so that it’s obvious who’s talking, and tags are only needed every few lines. Also tense changes and having the problem solved by someone other than the protagonist. And starting w-a-y too early, or telling everything that happens between scenes. Readers don’t need/want to know every step of getting ready in the morning, and we can tell that a character drove somewhere by having her walk to her car and then cut to the new scene in a different location.
Tim Greaton says
Another great blog post, Joanna π As a guy who has made his living writing these past 16 years, I chuckle at your use of the term “new writers” because I’m guilty of all the above several times an hour (conservatively speaking). Fortunately, god invented second-through-fifth drafts, beta readers, story editors, copy editors and my wife, so there may be hope for me yet. Even so, it’s nice to have your reminder, which I hope will one day lead me to keep my hourly errors to a minimum…let’s say triple digits π
Joanna Penn says
Thanks Tim – I guess I wanted to be sensitive π but I will definitely always use an editor as well as beta readers etc, as we can never see the errors in our own work!
Stephanie m. says
I was guilty as charged on the overuse of names. Reading it back helped. Cut a TON out.
Adding to the punctuation, the ellipsis. A critique member noticed I used them a lot. He was right. If a person suddenly stops speaking, a period is sufficient. Use ellipsis for lingering thoughts, the ones that tend to loom in the air.
Richard says
“Show, Don’t Tell” has to be the most over-used clichΓ©d advice offered to and by writers. It’s not as simple as it suggests. There is a place for telling, it just has to done right. Otherwise all show and no tell exhaust the reader, not to mention the writer. Laurie Alberts in her book, “Showing & Telling: Learn How to Show & When to Tell for Powerful & Balanced Writing” provides a wealth of insight on the subject. Authors and emerging writers would do well find a balance according to their genre.
Ross Mountney says
Another great post – I always get so much from this blog so thank you for your output!
Shawn J. Higgins says
A new technique I’ve developed while editing and reviewing manuscripts I’ve already written is to compile a list of words I’ve seldom or never used into a document, and then compare it with words I overuse in my fiction. A simple “Control F” in a completed manuscript will bring up a find field where you can type words that tend to be overused in fiction. You can then use built-in or online thesaurus and find new words to rephrase so that you increase your vocabulary and that of your readers, and impress your reader with the satisfaction of reading stories with a variety of words that they may not have thought of before.
Joanna Penn says
I need to be that systematic π Thanks for the tip.
Lorna Faith says
Thanks for the great tips! I think I overuse 1st names…so I will for sure need to read thru the manuscript a few times out loud before sending it out. I also need to get way better at showing vs. telling:( I caught myself being repetitive with a few words in my last few chapters too when I reread, so I can tell there will need to be A LOT of editing;(..Drat! As long as I am learning thru it, then it’s a good thing right? Thanks Joanna for another timely post!
Joanna Penn says
We’re all learning and it’s a long journey – that’s what keeps us interested, right?!
Rick Crawford says
(2) Consistent Point of View (POV)
I struggle with this common mistake some. I think most writers do. I usually write in 3rd person POV and I find myself moving to a distance from my characters too much.
Patty Apostolides says
Thank you for the list! I can relate to the topics discussed. Like most of the comments here, I’ve done it all. I’m into my fourth novel and have noticed a change in my writing from when I first started. I catch myself correcting my words as I go along, as if over time I realized certain words work and others don’t. Also, revising is a great way to catch mistakes and redundancies. I make it a habit at the end of a manuscript to pick a word I love (like walk) and I use the “find” button and look up all the “walks” in the manuscript, then I go and reword it or use synonyms, etc.
As noted in the discussion, when I was a beginning author I also wrote minute detail (and still catch myself doing it) about every little moment in time. For example: She hung her dress in the closet, then combed her hair, and washed her face, etc. These little actions don’t necessarily move the story forward, but are fillers, unless these actions are there to delineate her character.
I have lots more, but another time…
Best,
Patty
Joanna Penn says
That’s so interesting Patty, as I had a consulting client who also did the over-description thing. I find it fascinating as I am completely sparse in my writing, and need to add padding later. The opposite problem π
Katie McAleece says
I think it’s important to get a lot of opinions from people you trust to be honest with you. I know that, personally, I can read other’s writing and see all of the flaws but sometimes don’t catch them in my own writing. Then later if someone reads it back to me, I hear it and think, “Why did I write that? That’s awful.”
As you said, we all make mistakes but the beautiful thing is that we can all improve. And it is blogs like this one that are helping us do so. I really appreciate you sharing this! Very practical and helpful, as always.
Lena says
I’ve learnt so much from my writing experience and it continues to help me grow as a person. This is a great list Joanna.
P.S – Nicholas Sparks should experiment a happy ending π
Giora says
Thanks for tips, Joanna. I saw today also a video where you talk about hiring and editor. It was great. You should be on TV.
Joanna Penn says
Thanks! maybe one day…
LKWatts says
Hi Joanna,
I think new writers can over describe things. They think if they spend a whole page writing the description of a chair it is brilliant writing. It isn’t if it doesn’t hold a purpose to the story.
Descriptive writing needs to be carefully monitored because it’s so easy to over do it. You only need to describe something briefly and the reader can fill in the blanks themselves.
G D Townshende says
Hello, Joanna!
I just discovered your blog through another writer’s Facebook post, and from what I see, I think I’m going to have fun browsing your site and going through the material you have here. You seem to have a lot of very helpful material. Anyway, onto why I’m choosing to comment…
In your point on “Show, Don’t Tell,” you write, “If the Nazis are marching into a French village, donβt report the event in third person. Instead, relate the event from the point of view of a character in the crowd. Make it personal and show their reaction to the event by their behavior. Deep, interior monologues can be replaced with characters doing something or saying something.”
You have (inadvertently?) communicated here that third person is telling, not showing, which is not true.
Sol Stein (a professional editor), in his books STEIN ON WRITING (this volume covers both fiction and nonfiction) and HOW TO GROW A NOVEL, provides the best examples and explanations of showing versus telling that I have ever read (the following comes from chapter 12 of the first book):
__
Let’s look at the evolution of telling into showing in the following examples:
*She boiled water* tells.
*She put the kettle on the stove* begins to show.
*She filled the kettle from the faucet and hummed till the kettle’s whistle cut her humming short* shows.
*She boiled water in a lidless pot so she could watch the bubbles perk and dance.*
[Stein had all of the text I’ve put between asterisks in bold.]
__
All of Stein’s examples above are in the third-person. This could be the result of a first-person narrator who is in the room observing this woman (which still renders that narrator’s observations in third-person), or it could be a scene in which this woman is the POV character, but told in the third-person, and yet every sentence but the first *shows* and doesn’t *tell.*
Some may not realize this but in third-person POV you’re still allowed to enter into the POV character’s mind. (Most modern novels are written in this fashion, in fact.) However, it is best advised that the POV character be someone important to the story, and not just an inconsequential bystander.
G D Townshende says
I failed to mention this in my previous post, but my name is Gary.