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Romance is one of the top selling genres and writers of romance can make an extremely good living providing books that avid readers devour.
But is romance only for women and can you break into this genre as a man?
Nicholas Sparks, author of The Notebook, is one of the highest earning authors in the world, making millions from his romantic love stories so it can definitely be done. Here's guest blogger Matthew Turner on writing romance as a man.
My name is Matthew Turner and I'm a dreamer, optimist, and silly romantic fool.
I'm not saying I write romance in the same manner as E.L James or Bella Andre, rather in the style of a Nick Hornby or David Nicholls.
Frankly, I'm far too awkward to ever write erotica or intense romance. As soon as I have to explain a sex scene I blush and stumble and stutter and stammer. It's quite pathetic to be honest.
But every idea I have ever had has resonated around some kind of romantic conflict. It involves a man and woman coming together and battling through the hardships of life. They argue and love and cower in the corner. I'm sure you know the process.
Being A Man In A Female World
The reason I came to Joanna with this idea is because she understands my pain. She writes in a genre dominated by men. People assume a woman can't write a good thriller, and although this is a quite ridiculous perception, gender issues in publishing forced Joanna to create the pen name J.F Penn.
I believe I face similar obstacles as the assumption that only a woman can document a romantic journey. It's not the end of the world as there are many men earning a good living for what are, in essence, stories built around romance and whimsy. I do face an uphill battle, though, but what can I say, this is how I write.
My debut novel, Beyond Parallel, was started in 2006 after a rough breakup. The entire premise is built around two young lovers trying to find their place in the world. It's foundation stands upon passion, romance, and the idea of what could be.
It needs romance and whimsy and silly little fantasies. This was a book I NEEDED to write and I didn't want to conform and try and turn it into a story more appropriate for a man to write. It's my story and I'm down proud of it. If that makes me sappy and sensitive, so be it.
Overcoming The Slope
One of the two lead characters in Beyond Parallel is a young twenty-something woman. This means a great deal of time is spent in the head of a lady. This is no easy feat for a guy who has NEVER understood women in the first place.
I also know a vast majority of readers will be female, which means I have a responsibility to craft a story that connects with them. Again, no easy task. This is how I overcame these issues:
1) I Worked With A Female Editor
Arguably the most important decision I've made in recent years. Not only is Susan a fantastic editor, but she's a woman. She's by no means a girlie girl, but she is a lady who knows what ladies think about.
On many occasion she would alter certain aspects and ask me to dig deeper. She would push and expect greatness. If something didn't sound right, wasn't presented properly, or didn't showcase the female mind, she'd call me out on it.
This was a HUGE game changer!
2) I Spoke To Female Friends
I'm lucky to be friends with women I can lean on for help. I know some fantastic minds, of varying personalities, with stories to share and elaborate on. Sometimes I would ask how a certain situation would affect them, but often I would merely observe.
What I found was this: men and women are rather different beings.
This is fantastic, but also difficult to capture in word-form, especially if you don't fully understand the ones you need to use. Speaking to women I trust, though, it allowed me to tell a story that appreciated a wider audience. It went from a guy telling a story, to a human being sharing one.
3) I Used Past Experiences
My family has a lot of women in it. Aunts, cousins, sister, close family friends, second cousins, yep, just about all of them are women.
Although this is a nightmare in its own right, it does allow me to call on many memories. I'm not saying I understand the female mind – far from it – but I can emphasise with it – for the most part.
Much of Beyond Parallel was difficult to write, but looking back on years gone by helped pull me through. I thought about my sister and cousins and considered how they would feel, how they would express themselves, and how they would share ideas with me. It made my task much easier.
4) I People Watched
Creepy? Absolutely, but 100% necessary for a writer – at least this is what I tell myself. I would often sit in a coffee shop and observe a pretty girl. I would document how she acted around a boy she was clearly ‘in to', how she would react around friends, and what she would do on her own; reading a book maybe, or listening to music.
As soon as I started to understand these little quirks, it helped me take my female characters down a more believable road.
A Rough Ride Ahead
Do I expect an easy ride? Nope, not at all. I understand that some people will be put off by the idea of a man bringing romance to the table. I appreciate how some of my words and style will send people running.
I also believe it will connect with others. This is the story I NEEDED to write and I have no regrets whatsoever.
What about you? Are you writing in a genre that is traditionally for the other gender? Do you use a pseudonym or initials to mask you gender identity? Does it all really matter?! Please do join the conversation by leaving a comment below.
**
Matthew Turner is a writer from Yorkshire, England. His debut novel, Beyond Parallel launches today (8th January) and now is the perfect time to download. For the first three days you don't only get the book, but over $50 of extras.
In the tradition of Sliding Doors, Beyond Parallel flips between two parallel tales. Grab yourself a copy and be part of a true coming-of-age story that everyone can relate to.
You can get Beyond Parallel on Amazon.com here.
Image: Bigstockphoto.com Petals of a rose
D. Emerald says
I think I would prefer to read a romance novel penned by a man. In my opinion, a great deal of female authors fixate on trivial things, such as the color of a blouse or the “rugged handsomeness” of their hero.
After reading novel after novel of model-perfect characters, I think it would be a refreshing change to finally focus on the heart of the romance genre: emotions and the way they affect the characters. I care more about how Character A is going to deal the loss of Character B, than whether or not the alpha male hero was able to wrap his well-muscled arms around the heroine’s slim hips. (Sorry, I know I’m generalizing but I’ve read far too many bodice-rippers.)
I feel like a male author would be able to pull the romance genre out of its adjective-fixated slump and add some much needed realism.
That said, I can’t wait to read your book, Matthew!
Turndog Millionaire says
Yes, I must say, as a rather awkward man, I cringe and blush at certain novels when it gets steamy. I don’t read the fifty shades of the world, but sometimes even contemporary romance can get a little hot round the collar 🙂
Thanks for the comment, by the way. If you do get round to reading, please let me know your thoughts. I urge all the feedback I can get
Matthew
Marla says
All this discussion brought to mind a story Christine Feehan told . She once got a letter from a soldier who was home from his tour. He had picked up one of her Ghostwalker series papaerbacks while on tour. He loved it. These books are intense about Black Ops super secret gov’t military experiments creating ‘super soldiers’ and… they are romances. But he did not know this at the time. He came home and wrote to Christine because he had looked everywhere for the series and could not find it. She wrote back and said ‘Try the Romance section.’
He was shocked. Most men think of romances as old fashioned bodice rippers and yes they still exist. They’re is a prejudice against that section that maybe it is just for hormonal women or escapism for women. All books are escapism unless non-fiction and even then there are truth junkies out there as well. There are the historical romances and such but there are a remarkable number of women authors out their writing amazing stories that happen to have sex and romance in them. The veil needs to be lifted. 🙂
Chris Stevenson says
Well this is where the rubber meets the road. Fasten your seat belts, trays up-right and turn off your mobile phones. After writing for 28 years in every genre except romance, I took the plunge because of a dare from a pixel princess, you know know, a cyber cutie, an email female? She was a huge fan but also a master of romance plots and themes.
“Chris, you’ve got the sensitivity and passion down pat in all your books. You write sweet romance as a sub-plot in everything you do. I double dog-dare-ya to write a full blown romance and I triple dog-dare ya and lay some heat to it. You’re a romantisist. Let loose for gawd’s sake. What are you afraid of?”
I wasn’t afraid of anything, I told her. I lied. I was afraid because I didn’t have respect for the genre. Never read it. Totally believed it was formulaic. Didn’t have a clue then that that was a male author with his head up his keester. I remembered how biased I was, along with others in the SFWA, about women who wrote science fiction. We declared they had NO right to enter into that male dominated literary brotherhood.
So the first thing I had to do was read as many romance novels as I could, as fast as my eyes would move–all categories and genres. (The sweet historicals blew me away). I then signed up for dating sites and put the call out for help, where I could find a mentor, a co-author. I got lucky and found a fifty-something sex and message therapist who specialized in Tantra. I was back to school from then on. Big ole body-building hunk Chris, with 400 conquests, didn’t mean shit. Via intense back-and-forth communication, I was embarrassed about finding out how deep and complicated women really were–they were relationship experts. I crashed -hard and fast. But I picked myself and forged on.
So my Dee Dee luscious co-writer contributed to the physical and emotional aspects between the lead characters, and we really ripped the seams open. We both emailed each other over and over again, compiling all the dreams and fantasies of our genders, with an obvious main focus on true love with an HEA ending. I was really frightened of love scenes, and turned fifty shades of pink during this process. My knees went limp thinking about what my female agent would say about this after she read it. I thought that I might be seen as a dirty, filthy pig.
I’ll admit that we both got rather worked up over this topic for months, and this fevered pitch really added to the excitement and discovery in the story-line. She taught me about the extended tease factor.
Hell, I think erotica is 75% foreplay before anything happens, and there is a way to write a sexy narrative tease so that you have your reader panting and white-knuckling their fists—aching and anticipating some kind of volcanic release (which they know is coming but can’t see), until it starts to tear them apart. If they end up cussing and ripping pages, you’ve done your job.
Speaking from a male perspective, I knew that I was going to need more than a little help–a straight leg-up opinion and advice from the female side. And THAT was a huge, huge highway to discovery for me—oh, did I ever learn a ton about the female mindset—feelings of intimacy, passion and yearning. Although my book is not a straight erotica, it carries a hot warning.
Just saying, I got lucky, went to bat and got a good hit. I’ll find out if it is out of the park when the reviews start appearing.
I can’t give any guy a complete rundown on how to write a romance, whether it’s contemporary or genre based. But here’s some blunders I hit along the way with my first attempt at this type of book.
To reiterate: read the romance category or genre–at least a dozen books or more to get a feel for what’s been done and what’s being written now. It will give you an idea of how to write a character-driven story, rather than a plot-driven book, if you haven’t gone the character route. There is a world of difference, except in sub-genres where the plot might be more crucial to drive the story along. It’s all about the people, first and foremost.
Intimacy is important, including dialogue and inner monologue. This is a love story between any individual types. Let the romance flow and grow (flick and switch), make it touching, meaningful and intense. The characters must be attracted to each, more so as the story unfolds, but not necessarily in the beginning. Inner thoughts and emotional feelings are crucial.
Sex scenes, or passionate love-making scenes are not a laundry list of sexual gymnastics: stroking, sucking, fondling, blowing, sticking, juicing, whacking, plunging, licking all those naughty terms, unless you need those graphic examples for a certain emphasis. Use some metaphor and simile to describe emotions and physical contact unless you are seeking a certain heat level where it can demand more explicit descriptions like it does in erotica. Is it a love tunnel, pussy or vagina? Make up your mind and try and stay within such body part tags
The pace is a little bit more leisurely in a romance, not quite the SF/thriller shoot ’em up and let off mass explosions that kill dozens of people, unless there is a very strong sub-genre holding the story up. Some epic (saga) and historical romances might explore the backdrop of a major war or conflict. So that can be perfectly acceptable.
Read the publisher guidelines. What is the editor and reader fan base looking for? Do you need the female MC at center stage with a full POV? Does the male or other other lover need a POV or not? Are male-centric romance stories okay without a female POV, or should there be a balance of some type? Typical Alpha male or not? Is “nerd” romance acceptable with this publisher?
These examples were my major stumbling blocks. There are more for sure. Read up on formulaic or category romances and see what the differences are. For instance, the publisher might want an emphasis on men or women in uniform, country folks, soldiers, doctors, cops, cowboys/girls and other specific types.
Are you writing Christian romance which has sweet and behind-the-door sex? Don’t send erotica to a publisher who doesn’t go for it.
Happily ever after, unresolved or tragic endings also have a determining factor when selecting a publisher.
Harlequin (a category romance type) has very precise wants and needs, and you must follow those guidelines to break into any of their romance genres or other imprints.
How confident am I now? Here’s a challenge; I’ll put Blackmailed Bride up against any romance novel out there right now. I think this male author might give you a run for your money. I paid my dues and learned my craft. If I’ve failed, I’ll pull out like a big ole sloppy…well, you know. I just need you to believe in me.
Thanks. Red-shifting otta here…