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Writing And Editing: Five Problems to Avoid in Your First Novel

    Joanna Penn
  • 9 years ago
    • Categories: Writing

OLD POST ALERT! This is an older post and although you might find some useful tips, any technical or publishing information is likely to be out of date. Please click on Start Here on the menu bar above to find links to my most useful articles, videos and podcast. Thanks and happy writing! – Joanna Penn

The first novel is definitely the hardest! You think you have internalized how a story works as a reader and then you discover there is so much more to learn.

In this article, Natasa Lekic from New York Book Editors takes us through five problems that are common in first novels and how to avoid them.

The experience of writing your first draft can be a roller coaster.

However, once you write that final page, you’ll relate to Zadie Smith:

“It’s a feeling of happiness that knocks me clean out of adjectives. I think sometimes that the best reason for writing novels is to experience those four and a half hours after you write the final word.”

For most first-time writers, this is followed by a straight dive into the publishing process.

After all, you did the work, now it’s time for your story to get out into the world – right?

Not yet. A crucial second phase is involved: the editing. Today, many novels go through an editor before they even reach a literary agent.

At the company I founded, NY Book Editors, we specialize in the editing phase, so we’ve worked with hundreds of first-time novelists. Our team of experienced editors—which has worked with authors ranging from Stephen King to Paulo Coelho to Haruki Murakami—say writers often stumble on the same things.

Here are the common issues writers deal with in their first outing:

1. Where’s the conflict?

Stories must have some form of tension, or conflict, at all times. First novels often start with long descriptions of place or character. The exposition may be beautiful, but prose is never enough to keep your reader interested.

Take even a quiet novel, such as national bestseller The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry. In the opening scene, it’s an ordinary morning in Harold and Maureen’s household, but something seems wrong.

He’s sitting at breakfast, she’s vacuuming, and then, “The vacuum tumbled into silence, and his wife appeared, looking cross, with a letter.”

The letter is for Harold. As he absentmindedly reacts to Maureen’s request for the jam, she says:

“That’s the marmalade, Harold. Jam is red. If you look at things before you pick them up, you’ll find it helps.”

Harold discovers that the letter is from an old friend, letting him know she has cancer. Maureen changes her tone. She says she’s sorry to hear the news and tries to make a positive remark about the weather.

It seems she’s not just a crabby old woman. Her attitude is more complex than that.

On the surface, we’re reading about an ordinary breakfast and the delivery of a letter. But from the beginning, the reader can see there’s much more going on. This is what keeps us interested.

As an author, you know the central conflict of your story, the main arc, but remember it’s built up gradually through every little scene.

Your novel should never become a catalog of events. Instead, it should always include tension and conflict, which continue to engage the reader. This is the engine that drives your story forward.

2. Are your characters interesting?

As a reader or a movie goer, how frustrating is it when a character doesn’t turn out to be more than they seem? It means the writer didn’t have any insight into the inner life of this person or their world.

When a character has depth, we want to spend time with them – regardless of whether they’re good or evil, sympathetic or not – we’re drawn to their story and compelled to find out more.

One effective way to make sure your character is rich and multi-dimensional is to write their backstory.

This backstory is written outside your novel, and it should tell the character’s individual story—where they come from, what drives them and why—along with details about their life.

You can think of it as a mini history, and ask yourself what you might write if you were doing it for a family member or friend. You might include details about where they were born and who their relatives are, along with defining moments in their life, and tidbits about what they like or dislike.

In other words, you would include the big things, along with quirks that make them unique.

You might scratch your head and wonder why this is necessary. It’s not going to be in the book after all. Who cares about their backstory?

Jenna Blum in The Author at Work explains:

“Hemingway said that only the tip of the iceberg showed in fiction—your reader will see only what is above the water—but the knowledge that you have about your character that never makes it into the story acts as the bulk of the iceberg. And that is what gives your story weight and gravitas.”

The intimate understanding you have of your character will bury its way into your novel without you even noticing it. The reader, however, will be able to tell the difference.

3. Is your prose too beautiful?

Some authors believe good language should be showy. However, using unnecessary words in an effort to be literary or write more beautifully, is a common error first-time authors make.

Georges Simenon, a Belgian author, once pointed to a sentence and said: “That’s a beautiful sentence, cut it.” Simenon went on to say that he learned, after working with one editor, that sometimes style can overwhelm a writer’s content.

He explained:

“When you come across such a gorgeous sentence in a paragraph, it stands out and disrupts the even tone of your narrative. It’s as if you’ve paved a road and had a rose bush spurt up in the center. It’s beautiful, but it doesn’t belong there and it impedes the flow of the narrative.”

Or, as one of our editors put it, overuse of things like descriptors can bog down a narrative and make it more difficult for a reader to quickly grasp the meaning of a sentence and continue reading.

4. Has someone else read your manuscript?

Every writer should reread their own work and self-edit repeatedly – until they feel they’ve done everything they can for their manuscript. But at a certain point, a writer losses the ability to look over their own work honestly and objectively.

When he was younger, one of our editors completed a Master’s Thesis. Once he felt it was as good as he could possibly make it, he sent it to a friend to edit.

The document was returned in a sea of red marks. The most distressing edits, however, pointed out sections in which he had left out entire sentences.

“I knew exactly what I was trying to say, and so when I read it, I wasn’t reading the words on the page. I was reading what should have been there. My brain was filling in the gaps.

If I hadn’t had that person read it, I would have turned in something that in no way represented what I meant.

There comes a time when your writing is just too familiar to you. It all makes sense to you, so you can no longer see the flaws.”

That’s when a beta reader or a professional editor can really help. They’re approaching the manuscript for the first time, and they’re going to pick up on things you would never have noticed.

5. Be original

I know what you’re thinking—this is from Captain Obvious! But unless you have a masterful command of how to write in your genre, you run the risk of being predictable.

Consider Adele Waldman’s novel The Love Affairs of Nathaniel P.; it’s about the romantic relationship between a man and a woman and has been compared to the work of Jane Austen. However, unlike Austen’s work, Waldman’s novel is written from the point-of-view of a man.

At its core, the story is familiar. There’s nothing original about the concept of this book, which became a national bestseller. However, because Waldman took the unconventional approach of telling this tale in the first person from the perspective of the man, she made something old feel wholly new.

Having a woman write a romance from the perspective of a brilliant young man gives rise to psychological observations that make the book feel revelatory.

In your genre, ask yourself how your story differs from other books. Even though you need to meet your reader’s expectations for their genre (Nathaniel P. is, after all, a novel about relationships), you also need to surprise them.

Keep in mind that fans of sci-fi read a lot of sci-fi, fans of chick lit read a lot of chick lit, and so on. They’ve seen many variations of the same story. You don’t need to recreate the wheel, but a fresh voice or a new approach to a tried and true formula will delight the reader.

As a bonus, if you’ve done this well, it will also be much easier to describe your novel to readers. Everyone gets excited by discovering a fresh approach to a genre they know well.

 The last piece of advice is – don’t stress!

Writing a novel is an immense undertaking. By taking the time to craft your story, your unique perspective of the world, you’re embarking on a difficult but endlessly rewarding journey.

When you make mistakes, don’t be too hard on yourself. Every author you’ve ever admired (alright, alright except Shakespeare) has lagged here and there, learned from their hiccups, and gone on to write the books that shake you to your core.

It doesn’t happen overnight. Be patient with yourself and your craft. You’ll get there.

If you have any questions or, even better, additions to the list, let me know in the comments.

 

Natasa Lekic is the Founder of NY Book Editors, a premiere affiliation of editors with extensive experience from New York’s major publishing houses.

We help authors attract agents or self-publish using the high standards of the traditional industry.

Natasa believes every author has a unique story that can inform, inspire, and entertain readers. It just takes the right team to help you get there.

Tags: editingwriting tips
Joanna Penn:

View Comments (28)

  • 3. Is your prose too beautiful?

    Some authors believe good language should be showy. However, using unnecessary words in an effort to be literary or write more beautifully, is a common error first-time authors make.

    I believe this advice has been superseded by events. It is now obsolete.

    When the only route to publication passed through the doors of buyers (aka editors) in traditional publishing houses, this advice was sound. The economics of traditional publishing dictated sales to mass audiences. The books that made money were 'bestsellers'. Magazines and newspapers counted their success in circulation numbers. Buyers found that the no-style style sold well, was easy to enforce, and gave their publications an even tone. The traditional publishers bound themselves to casino economics. They had to bet on the big win.

    Now, with the advent of e-publishing, the market has fractured. The bestseller market has contracted. The numbers required to make a bestseller list today are far less than they were 10 years ago. Amazon has defined so many subcategories that there is one for Teen & Young Adult Paranormal Romance. As distinguished from Paranormal Romance for Adults.

    The fractured market means that King's axiom -- Kill your darlings -- is no longer applicable. Some readers like darlings in their prose. The number of those readers is not enough to make a work full of darlings a generic bestseller but it is enough to make a writer a comfortable living.

    One more time with feeling:

    Traditional publishers are bound to casino economics. They cannot afford 'darlings'.

    E-publishing fractured the market. Traditional publishers always bet 'to win'. E-publishing made it possible to succeed betting 'to show'. 'Darlings' can now flower and flourish. (As Ian McDonald once did.)

    When the facts change, I change my mind. What do you do, sir?

    • Sorry, gotta disagree with Antares. I've got a graveyard of darlings that really thrilled me in their time. Now I pat myself on the back every time I have the strength to put a bullet in another one. The paragraph left behind never mourns the loss.

      A perfect example is the paragraph I just wrote (above); the last sentence is unnecessary.
      ....................

      Aside from that, I would add another 'problem to avoid' to Natasa's list (since she asked), and I see it as huge: rushing to publish, even needing to publish. It's like those ten-year-old girls in makeup and dyed hair, rushing to adulthood. Self publishing allows absolutely anyone to call his/herself a writer/author. So what? Just because there's no judge and jury anymore doesn't mean everyone gets a blue ribbon. It's actually harder to be really good now because you CAN publish before you're ready. And how does a newbie know s/he is ready? Most people REALLY don't like the idea of another whole draft (or 5), yet each draft is foundational to not just that book but your career. Drafts are the trenches. Until finally starting a new draft invokes an opposite feeling to murdering your darlings—you're creating again!

      Safer to take one's time and discover the writing world, the writing process, and that most extraordinary editorial assistant of them all............time.

      My labor of love will be released in about a month, "I Did Inhale—Memoir of a Hippie Chick." Talk about drafts…

      Thanks, Joanna and Natasa, for your good works!

      • Hi Wendy,

        Thanks for your perfect example of an unnecessary sentence!

        Funny you mentioned the rush to publish, because we were going to include Zadie Smith’s advice, which I pass on to every novelist I meet.

        Once you finish a draft, put it in a drawer! If you can, let it stay there for at least three months. You’ll return to it with a fresh perspective.

        Having said that, many writers learn from publishing too early. They get a few critical comments, which take them back to the drawing board.

        These days, publishing can be the trenches!

    • Hello there, I am usually just a writer. My story seems to be all over the place. I'm not great at editing. Most of the time I just end up wanting to scrap the whole thing. I did get other people to read it, and they gave me some advice. I was just wondering what should I do?

  • Really excellent advice, thank you. As an editor though, I just have to say: Jane Austen, not Austin!

  • Hi Antares,

    Thanks for your thoughtful response. Although it’s true that the market has fractured, making it possible for niche books to find their audience, the craft of good storytelling hasn’t changed.

    If books that are “full of darlings” are being read widely for their subcategory, I doubt they’re full of the kind of darlings we’re referring to in this post.

    We’re talking about every adjective, adverb, and sentence, which is only there for the sake of the word or the sentence. Prose shouldn’t exist to draw attention to itself, it should move the story along.

    Here’s an example of a darling:

    “The young, male soldier nonchalantly stood with his back against the ornately carved wooden fence and angled his head upwards towards the sky, smoking and staring distractedly at the cotton-ball like white clouds that moved westward above the city.”

    Here’s the pared down version:

    “The soldier stood with his back against the fence, smoking and staring distractedly at the clouds that moved westward above the city.”

    Imagine a manuscript full of the first kind of sentence. The reader would get so bogged down by the language, it would be a struggle to continue.

    If you look at a great literary stylist, Nabokov, who doesn’t shy away from adjectives, you’ll still find that every word is carefully considered and serves a purpose:

    “I have hunted butterflies in various climes and disguises: as a pretty boy in knickerbockers and a sailor cap; as a lanky cosmopolitan expatriate in flannel bags and beret; as a fat hatless old man in shorts.”

    There’s a difference between prose that’s simply there for the author’s pleasure, and prose which is both beautiful and functional for the reader’s sake.

    If you still disagree, let me know which book is full of darlings (and has done well in its subcategory).

    • Anne of Green Gables

      All of L. M. Montgomery's books are FULL of "darling" descriptions that are more poetry than narrative.

    • Natasa Lekic,

      Definitions.

      I think you and I are talking past each other due to different definitions. The quote you cite as a 'darling' -

      “The young, male soldier nonchalantly stood with his back against the ornately carved wooden fence and angled his head upwards towards the sky, smoking and staring distractedly at the cotton-ball like white clouds that moved westward above the city.”

      - I characterize as overwritten and overwrought. In English, it is bad writing. Curiously, that passage may work in Spanish. English and German live in their verbs. Spanish and Portuguese live in their adjectives.

      We both agree it is bad writing.

      Before his Chaga series, Ian McDonald made a name for himself writing lyrical prose. An example from Empire Dreams:

      And down in the hangar bay under dome under dome under dome (the high curved roof of the bay, the plasmoglass blister of the ship, the decaled bubble of your helmet) you scrunch down in the rear astrogator's seat of the X15 Astrofighter and mouth the fabulous words, "You're the Empire's last hope."

      This is what I mean by 'darling'. The repetition of 'under dome' calls attention to itself, but it still works to move the story forward. (I chose this excerpt because it is the least of McDonald's excursions into lyric prose.)

      Allow me to inject a snippet of my own:

      Down, down, down to the World it plummets, space seed, seed pod, capsule spat from the mouth of the dark ship that winks into being above the World, ship that winks at the World’s two suns, winks at the strange stars, and winks to otherwhere with a nod and a wink to the mechanics of quantum flight. Down, down the pod blazes through the burning blue sky, encircling the World with its firetail, searing away speed and weightlessness and sky-longing hopes. Down the space-seed-pod-capsule falls until it ruptures in pod-splitting, seed-shaking, heart-breaking thunder and belches forth a spacesuited man whose drogue pops open yanks out his orange ‘chute that whooshes to fullness and the man below swings once, then twice, then thuds to the orange-ochre earth as fragments of the space-seed-pod-capsule rain around raising rooster-tail plumes of orange and ochre and yellow dust.

      I wrote the story from which this is taken as an experiment. I presented it to my writers' group. The two founders -- both SFWA members and editors -- panned it. But one writer liked it and said so. What gave her voice clout was the fact that she had just won Year's Best Fantasy Short Story. Soon the room split 2 to 1: those who hated it versus those who liked it.

      The important point here is that there were those who liked it. Not a majority but enough.

      More definitions.

      "[L]et me know which book is full of darlings (and has done well in its subcategory)."

      How do we define 'has done well'?

      Bestseller?

      I doubt that any book that coddles its darlings will become a bestseller. I love Ian McDonald's lyric works, but he abandoned those for the Chaga series (which I detest). Did MacDonald ever have a bestseller with his lyric works?

      My point is that writing with darlings (not the overwrought prose of Bulwer-Lytton) can find an audience in the new fractured market. Bestseller? No, but enough of an audience to permit an author to live comfortably.

      By my lights, if an author can make a comfortable living on his writing, that is 'done well'.

      YMMV.

      • Natasa Lekic,

        I forgot to mention that Jerry Pournelle wrote that when he and Larry Niven wrote The Mote in God's Eye that Niven wrote a darling line that he could not bear to part with. In order to keep that one darling, Pournelle had to shift a planet's orbit and recalculate its period of revolution. That changed the time from the planet to the jump point and rippled through the timeline of the whole book.

        I doubt anyone would notice had Jerry not written about it later.

      • God, you lost me pretty early on.

        Why fight to include these 'darlings', knowing that it will severely limit your audience base? Are you that attached to showing off how you can string pretty words together?

        I sincerely don't understand why you are fighting so hard for this.

        • I am working on a revision of my debut novel prior to sending it off to an editor. My plan is to self-publish via KDP because I recognize that my book will appeal to some but not all. In answer to your question, I have quite a bit of description and scenery. But one sentence I wrote this last week is probably my favorite sentence in the entire book. Grammarly suggests that it is a long sentence and could be revised for clarity. I think the sentence is clear, but it is a "darling." I recognize it as a bit poetic for a novel. But it's my favorite sentence, so I'd like to keep it. I'd post it here, but I'm still keeping things under wraps for the next couple of months.

  • Just finished and published novel one. I definitely agree with this list. It also gets easier to keep going. I have a first draft of a prequel novella completed (related to novel one) and I am 1/3 of the way through novel two in the series of at least three.

    Just keep writing!

  • The biggest problem I have in writing, is crippling procrastination

    I have all these ideas for stories that I wanna write and I'm great at World Building and developing a story and characters, but when it comes to actually writing the story, I can't stop my brain from getting hung up on the stupidest little details or ignore nagging little doubts about whether or not the direction I've chosen to take the story or a character is the right one and end wasting what is more often than now, days trying to think my way out of what are usually non-existent problems and it keeps me from getting anything done except coming up with new things to agonize over.

    If there are any suggestions for over coming this, please, I would love to hear them

    • Advice from a fellow procrastinator: Butt in chair, write the first draft. Trick your nagging mind by telling it "I'll figure out the details I'm not sure of right now in the second draft."

      Joanna also has heaps of productivity tips on here if you feel you need further help - as I did.

  • All very good points! It's what keeps the reader turning the pages and picking up the book. Thank you!

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