OLD POST ALERT! This is an older post and although you might find some useful tips, any technical or publishing information is likely to be out of date. Please click on Start Here on the menu bar above to find links to my most useful articles, videos and podcast. Thanks and happy writing! – Joanna Penn
I love writing. Some days I can get into a flow state and the words come effortlessly onto the page, and they're actually pretty good! I love creating something from just my brain. It's the best life in the world.
My mind is completely empty. I will never have another idea.
Trust emergence. Something will come out of the milieu of this crazy, buzzing world.
Write to live: I need to write something that will sell so I can pay the bills.
Live to write. I'm happy to make money with a day job so I can write the best book I can write, without fear of earning income.
I spend all my time alone, and I think I'm going a little crazy with only my weird mind for company.
I can't get away from the incessant email and social media chatter. I just need some alone time.
I love connecting with my readers and fans. I love reading reviews and getting emails from people who enjoy my books.
I'm afraid of criticism. I hate the one star reviews. They make me want to give up every day. Sometimes I wonder if it would be best if no one even read my work, because then no one would attack me.
I want to win a literary prize and be featured in literary magazines for my beautiful use of language. I don't care about commercial success.
I want to sell millions of books and be read by millions of people. I want the income that reflects that level of commercial success.
I just want to write and not have to worry about all the technical aspects of publishing and marketing.
It's so much easier to write blog posts, do podcasts and hang out on social media, than it is to just write.
I want an agent and a publisher so that I will feel validated as a writer.
Number of books sold and money in my bank account, as well as happy readers, are all the validation I need as a writer.
I want to see my book for sale in the local bookstore so that my family and friends will understand what the hell I do all day.
I want to sell ebooks in 150 countries worldwide because in that way I will reach far more people than my local bookstore ever can.
I just want to sit in my writing hut and be quiet and stay away from the crowds, and think and write, and be happy.
I want people to like me and accept me and think I'm a nice person.
I will not self-censor. I will write my dark truth.
I pretty much go through this every day. How about you?
Please do leave a comment below if you understand, or please share what else you feel.
Top image: Flickr Creative Commons roller coaster by Eric Lynch
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1 2 3 … 10 Next »30 books and I still feel this way! I laughed all the way through the post because I recognised every single state of mind.
I'm so glad - it's always hard putting these type of posts up there :) Part of the roller coaster is thinking that you're the only one!
Absolutely. Some days, or weeks, are worse than others. When I hit my stride and write 10,000 amazing words in a day I feel on top of the world. When I'm stressing over paying my bills and wondering what the hell I think I'm playing at, I want to curl up and give up. But I can't give up, and that's what terrifies me the most. I need to write, to feel happy, to feel like myself. I need to get my books out there, to reach readers, no matter how much I feel like I'll never write a good word again. It's this insane roller-coaster and I don't know where I'd be without it. Of course I'd rather only have the good, but what good is the light without the darkness?
I've never managed 10,000 words in a day! (and there's the comparisonitis again!!) Needing the light and darkness and managing the roller coaster seems to be the job, right?! Understanding that it will always be this way and no amount of 'management' will change this creative life.
You do write every day though, I've been too stressed over outside things to write much of anything this week. I think that's definitely it though, we're all on our own individual rollercoaster and we need to manage it in the best way we can. Knowing that there are others around us who're also riding this mad ride helps a lot I think. :)
Thank you. Another fabulous, honest, post that touches the 'spot'. And like other great work such as War of Art (Steven Pressfield), most of what you write could be appropriate for so many other creatives, not just authors.
I'd say if you are having this battle in your head everyday (as am I), then at least you are having the battle! Many have not even picked up their weapons, and probably never will. Onwards!
Thanks Serena, I agree that it's probably something all creative professionals go through :) Onwards indeed!
Doubt is always there for me. My murder mystery plays sell well and my customers give me glowing reports but when it comes to my novel, it's a different story. I just keep on going and hoping it'll sort itself out.
It takes a while and I have found that having an editor helps with highly plotted things like mysteries - but keep going!
Nice post Joanna. It was like reading my own diary without the blood stains.
For me, a mix of all the above works. I've been in my writing hut for almost a year, in a forest within a country whose language I don't speak, and with barely dial-up-speed internet. I can feel the muse whither, and call for the hard streets of the city.
I moved from Brisbane, Australia back to London partly for what you mention. I find the city excites my Muse so much more. I like to go out into nature and be far away for short periods, but I need the bustle, I love the energy of the city.
Oh boy. I'm riding this roller coaster, too. Right now, the changes in direction are so violent and so frequent that it's barely any fun.
And so I breath in. And out. And sit down to write.
Because the truth of it is, I love this ride.
The definition of fun is different for everyone :)
Yes! All of the above. Every single day. (Joanna, did you sneak into my brain when I wasn't looking and write down my own thoughts?!) Thank you for your honesty - it really helps to know that I'm not alone in these fears/doubts/feelings - and I wish you all the very best for dealing with them today (and tomorrow and the day after...)
As I wrote this I was crossing my fingers, hoping that people out there would feel the same :) It turns out our huge powerful writing brains are quite similar in this way!
So it's not only me? Glad to hear that.
But what makes me so anxious is that even before finishing my first novel, I am so frequently having this down, wanna give up days. How will I keep my energy after that? Since as far as I have observed, it keeps getting tougher.
It's always tough in some ways, but equally, if you measure your life by what you create, what else are you going to do?!
Great post. I like to leave quotes from Steven Pressfield about resistance on my writing desk (I think I got the idea from you). Each day I sit down and try to beat resistance. It helps. But some days I'll go way over my quota and write 6-8K; then, I scare myself because I think I have to keep doing that each day and it only adds to my resistance. Crazy, now succeeding contributes to resistance? How do any of us ever really write a book?
Agreed :) It's a crazy business, second guessing ourselves every day!
If this was social media, I'd write #relate. This is definitely true. Sometimes, you can't help but feel tired of ding something. For me, I write effectively when I feel inspired to write a certain topic. Like when I've been thinking about it all day, I can't get my mind off of it then when I sit to write, everything flows so smoothly. I guess that's why it's important to keep the motivation and be able to inspire yourself everyday. That to me is more of a challenge than the writing itself.