X

Uncertainty: Turning Fear And Doubt Into Fuel For Brilliance

OLD POST ALERT! This is an older post and although you might find some useful tips, any technical or publishing information is likely to be out of date. Please click on Start Here on the menu bar above to find links to my most useful articles, videos and podcast. Thanks and happy writing! – Joanna Penn

Recently I left my day job to become a full-time author/ creative entrepreneur.

I have had my share of sleepless nights and it is still a scary time. There really is no blueprint for this career, no set office hours, no rules or expectations.

It is the definition of uncertainty.

So it was brilliant to read Jonathan Fields' new book, Uncertainty, and gain some insight into how others deal with this time on the edge.

Here are some of the key points from the book that I think will also resonate with other authors/creatives.

Uncertainty, risk of loss and criticism.

  • Success as an innovator or creator is partly determined by “the ability to manage and at times even seek out sustained high levels of uncertainty, bundled lovingly with risk of loss and exposure to criticism.” This seems to me what writers have to deal with all the time but perhaps it never gets any easier. There will always be a risk in writing a book. Often you spend months or years with your work and then release it to a market that may or may not want it. There is a risk of loss financially and also to self-esteem. Taking criticism seems a fundamental part of being an author and something I have struggled with personally. This book makes you feel part of a bigger crowd of creatives out there in the world, hammering away at their craft, trying to produce something marvelous. It makes it ok to feel this way.
  • Google's 20% time as an example of the time needed to play around the boundaries of what we are working on, to give us space to not be judged. I need this because I used to work as a freelance IT consultant where every day was billable. I think of time as something to always be filled with something busy. But as a creative, I need to slow down more and realize that some time is just playing and may or may not end up with a specific result. It may also generate the best ideas. Being busy is not necessarily productive towards the goals I now have for myself.
  • Fear of failure and going to zero. In giving up the regular income, the fear of losing everything is acute. Even after saving up a safety net, doing the sums on how much time I have before the well runs dry and having a supportive husband, I am afraid of ending up with nothing. But this doomsday scenario thinking is crazy and I know that. In the book, Jonathan recommends naming the monster and writing it all out. For me, the worst case scenario is that I get another job in 6 months if this doesn't work out. I will not be starving on the streets. I will just be embarrassed in front of you guys. I can't let that fear of failure stop me from trying in the first place, and neither can you.

Ride the butterflies.

  • “If only we'd learned how to harness and ride the butterflies that live in the gut of every person who strives to create something extraordinary from nothing.” This is the essence of coping with the fear that sometimes threatens to take over. It's recognizing that it is entirely normal and then living with it in a manageable way. It's also good to think of these feelings as butterflies, beautiful and not a threat. Just there. A mentor of mine, Robert Rabbin, helped me in a similar way with fear of public speaking. The ‘nerves' (similar to butterflies) are reframed as ‘shakti', a creative energy that can be used as fuel to help with authentic expression.

Using certainty anchors.

  • In an uncertain life, ‘certainty anchors' can help create a structure or ritual around the process. This is something I am learning pretty fast. As an office worker for 13 years I was very used to the morning commute, coffee, lunch at a certain time, meetings, weekly reports, the rhythms of an office life. As a creative entrepreneur and author, I make my own routine which is fantastic but also dangerous as the hours can run away with you.
  • Meditation as an anchor but also a way of training your brain to get to the deeper levels of creativity, receptiveness and emptiness. I am one of those people who has dabbled in meditation but haven't made it a daily practice. I do it when everything becomes too much and it helps immeasurably. Making it a more regular practice would be the next logical step so that I don't get to that frenzied state. I shall report back on how that goes! Interestingly, I think my resistance to it already proves it's something I need to do.

The myth of balance.

  • I don't believe there is such a thing as balance when you are trying to achieve something, or pursuing a goal, so it was good to read this in the book too. I don't know about you but I am constantly bombarded with ideas – for books, for blog posts, for videos. I see opportunity everywhere, the world overflows with it! I write most of this down in a notebook, but with my current novel in progress, Prophecy, it's the same. There is no specific time spent thinking about it, the book intrudes into all my time, and that is a good thing. Why would I want balance when I am happy in this state? I'll rest when it's done (and then I'll start the next one!)

In conclusion,”uncertainty, risk of loss and exposure to judgment are necessary parts of the quest.” This book will help you see your path through them. Highly recommended (yes, that is an Amazon affiliate link below because it's a great book).

You can find all the details about Jonathan Fields' Uncertainty at TheUncertaintyBook.com

You can also find Jonathan at his blog and on twitter @jonathanfields

Joanna Penn:

View Comments (18)

  • I agree about the myth of balance. Balance is important before the project starts because it ensures a considered start, but thereafter, it's definitely about riding the butterflies! Great post.

  • It's so reassuring to hear these ideas, many of which I've suspected myself but still questioned. The idea of throwing out the goal of balance is kind of mind blowing, since we're always told to strive for it. But what you say makes so much sense! Very helpful article!

    • I wrote these notes Monica and I still question them - today I had butterfly moments. It seems to be a repetitive thing. One needs to keep revisiting lessons learned!

  • I didn't realize his book was out already! I've been following Jonathan since he first got on the blog scene a while back, and this is the first of his books I've purchased (Career Renegade has been on my to-buy list forever).

    I'm at a similar stage of my creative entrepreneur journey. Instead of an office job, I've just left school to start a career on my own. I'm making enough to live and grow, but it is scary and there's absolutely no certainty in any of it. I don't know what I will be doing later today, let alone a few years down the road.

    Anyway, thanks for giving me the extra nudge I needed to get this book!

    • You'll enjoy it Doug, it really helps. I was actually looking at some students the other day and thinking it was easier then to understand that every day can be different, which is what I am struggling a lot with right now. After 13 years in a corporate office job where going to the office and specific hours created a working environment, it's quite odd having freedom now. I think it must be very hard for people retiring after 40+ years in that type of work.

  • I have no balance because I just live my life submerged in all this "book industry" stuff. It's my way of life. I like making it the center of my life...

  • I'm an introvert myself, and yes, that uncertainty can be very very unnerving. Putting it into perspective, though, can help develop understanding and ease anxiety--which this post has done quite well! Thanks.

    • I'm glad it helped you Hiroko, and I'm an introvert too - we process alone and inside, so I am doing a lot of journal writing at the moment which also helps!

  • Thanks for this great review, I shall buy this book as it sounds very helpful. Thank you too for your honesty, which helps the rest of us. I can certainly recommend the benefits of a more regular meditation practice. This is particularly helpful when I wake up at 5 am worrying! I can also recommend some other great books which are "hard" but hugely worthwhile by the Buddhist Pema Chodron - "The Places that Scare You" and "When Things Fall Apart". (Aren't they wonderful titles?) You remain an inspiration to me and for different reasons than yours (having too much time on my hands these days through failing to win enough billable work!) I am finally getting round to structuring a more creative workday by myself too.

    • Hi Jen - I am still struggling and predict I will continue to - I can see why the big name authors often have offices they go to in order to write. They have that commuting routine. I now make sure I get out every day, some days to the library in order to write. This is definitely a place that is scaring me :) but it is more worthwhile than the unthinking crazy busy consulting life I was leading before. I hope it all comes together for you too.

  • A really useful piece Joanna; feeling scared is ok too at times but do seek the silence of meditation as a regular routine. It really frees up the cluttered mind and lets the invisible doors to creativity swing open in the breeze.

    • I like that analogy Maurice. I have been trying - still struggling with it, but will persist, it is worth it.

  • I've been so swamped I haven't had a chance to say congratulations on leaving your job and doing what you love! I KNOW you will thrive, so your fear can go away now. :)

    Thanks also for mentioning Jonathan's book--it sounds right up my alley! I'm beginning my transition from designer to writer as we speak, so I really think I could use his perspective as the transition continues. I'm currently in what I call a "bottleneck"--both my work and my writing are at their most demanding points, so now I am having to begin shrinking my web design business to grow my writing business (eeek!). It can be so difficult to make those steps, but when you do... wine, anyone? ;)

    • Hi Krissy - I hit that bottleneck too with the day job going crazy and this site and writing taking off. I had to make that choice. It has been a hairy month in terms of income but I have some saved so don't have to worry for a little while. It's just my personal issues regarding what is a "decent" living :) BUT/ I know I will ramp up again, it just takes some time. I am certainly less stressed by ditching the day job, and much happier about my direction. I think you're doing it the right way - slowly. I shall have a virtual wine with you as well!

      • That sounds great to me! And I know you'll do great! When I had my first to-pay-the-bills job and transitioned to web design so I could work at home full-time, it took me a couple of months to get into a good groove, but the great thing is you finally have the time to test the waters and market the way you've always wanted to! I found the best part to be, I was so busy, there was no time to panic, so it never became an issue, LOL! :)

  • This is inspiring. Often, we do feel the uncertainty not only as a writer but also as a person. Nevertheless, such fear and uncertainty will create more meaning to life and even to encourage us more to do something about it and not sulk in the same situation for the rest of our lives. Although uncertainty will not give us a clear idea on where we are heading, the point is, wouldn't fun to discover something good in the end without realizing it in the first place? I see a great inspiration in the book!

1 2
Related Post